How Do You Defeat Failure?

This is the story of a man who did a sales workshop on a very busy Saturday in Dallas. There was a PGA tournament going on and several other major happenings that weekend, part of the reason why only 10 people showed up for his event. The man was a bit depressed. The word "bit" is an understatement.

In fact, he started to beat himself up a lot.

“Why did I pick that weekend?” he self criticized. “Anyone would have known that you should have chosen any other time. Why didn’t I plan it better?”

Okay, he was kicking the crud (to put it nicely) out of himself. A few days after the event, the guy called his own coach. Even though he is a coach, he realized that coaches always need a coach. His coach was also a friend.

“Scott,” said the coach. “How many people showed up for your workshop?”

“Ten,” I grumbled

“Congratulations!” he exclaimed.

“What?” I said in a disgusted voice.

“Did you know that John Grey started with four people at one of his first workshops. You had ten. Awesome job,” said the coach.

Call it a total reframing of my own mindset. Then it dawned on me that I needed to practice what I preach. Of course, I talk about reframing with my clients because it’s truly your own perception that dictates success or failure. You truly call that shot.

In fact, I talked with some of the ten people who showed up that Saturday. “You know, Scott,” said one of the men. “I can’t imagine going to any other sales training that could be better.” My coach said, ‘You don’t realize what you did for those people who showed up and will now rave about you.” "I will never forget the lessons you taught us," said one of the women.

Today, the person that referred her passed along a message that the workshop "was an absolute life-saver!"

So, why was I so hard on myself? Why are you so hard on yourself? The problem is we don’t reframe situations and take the failure out of them. Maybe you think you’ve failed, but it wasn’t really what you thought it was. All of us get so caught up in the moment that we don’t realize the successful parts of it and just jump to what we perceive went wrong. Then we blow up the wrong and forget the right.

A few days after the workshop, I got a call from a friend in India who said, “Why don’t you bring your workshop here--India needs what you have.” Suddenly, it didn’t matter if it was 10 or 10,000. It just mattered who really got the message and then would pass it on.

How can you reframe what you think is failure? A few tips:

*Get outside counsel. When it doubt, talk it out. Listen to someone else’s opinion. Make sure to talk with good friends and trusted advisors. I talked with my coach and then friends in Dallas and California. Spread the input around.

*Critically listen without commenting. Let the input sink in – the good, bad and the indifferent.

*The re-evaluate the situation for yourself and try to look at it with a fresh eye.

I’m leaving next week for Singapore where the audience is estimated to be 1,500 to 2,000. This will be a great opportunity to impact thousands of lives. And honestly I hope that I can find the same success I had with my ten students on that Saturday morning.

The moral of the story is simple--when we help at least one other person--the ripple effect can and will be felt around the world. Celebrate that success--you deserve it!